Daylight Saving Time

A couple of weeks ago was the latest installment of a truly bizarre semi-annual ritual. The government tells everyone to change their clocks and watches by an hour, and we dutifully comply. I have several problems with this situation:
1. Where does the time go? A common expression in Autumn is that we "gain" an hour by turning the clocks back. This is not true!! That hour was actually stolen from us back in the Spring! I am hereby demanding that from now on, this hour be repaid every year with five minutes of interest.
2. It is unnecessary. Manipulating the clocks obviously doesn't affect the number of hours of light per day. That is solely determined by the tilt of the Earth. So any difference is merely an illusion. Some will say that without the time change, it will be dark when kids walk to school in the mornings during the winter. First of all, kids don't walk to school anymore. Parents wouldn't dare allow their precious little flowers to have to get exercise. Secondly, shove a flashlight in the kid's hand and he'll be fine. Thirdly, anyone walking in the evening is now in darkness, so what's the difference?
3. The Energizer Cartel. In recent years, we have been instructed to change the batteries in our smoke detectors when we change the time on our clocks. As a result, millions of still powerful batteries are discarded and new batteries purchased. How convenient. It seems obvious to me that the battery companies invented daylight saving time, waited patiently for decades, and then rolled out their evil plan to boost sales.
4. Government control. Doesn't the government have better things to do than to invade our homes and manipulate our precious clocks and watches? Numbers never seem to be the government's strong suit. Stand up and tell your elected officials that only after government on all levels starts living on balanced budgets will we allow them to invade another vital area of our lives.
So stand up with me - it's time for a change!